Our Time Will Come

I should be studying but I needed to get this out...

This past Thursday night my friend Katy and I went to Rite-Aid to purchase a pregnancy test.  We came back to my house and while Cory and Katy anxiously waited in the living room, I peed on the little stick.  2 minutes later I saw a negative sign.  I was a little upset but thought maybe I should try again Friday morning with the "first pee". 

Friday morning, first thing, I peed on another stick.  I climbed back in bed with Cory as we waited out the longest two minutes I have ever experienced.  I walked back into the bathroom, saw another negative sign and was immediately crushed.  

As of Friday morning, I was two weeks late with no sign of the dreaded red appearing.  I have never been that late before, ever, so I got my hopes up thinking there was a precious little jelly bean growing in my tummy.  My hopes were crushed when I saw that negative sign.

I got ready for work and texted a few friends that knew I was going to take the test.  Everyone had such encouraging words.  And they all said "your time will come" and "hold your head high" and "maybe it wasn't in God's plan for right now".  It would have been a complete surprise had we been pregnant.  We aren't "trying" per se, but we aren't exactly doing a whole lot of preventing either.  

One of my friends told me that you can sometimes get a false negative and to try again in another week or so or maybe even try another brand of test.  I tried to focus on work and then Cory and I decorated for Christmas that evening.  By Friday night, I felt peace about the situation.  I would try another test the following weekend and then consult with my doctor. 

Saturday morning I woke up with the most excruciating cramps; the dreaded red had appeared!  I was completely devastated.  Due to the pain and my crushed mental state, I stayed in bed for most of the day.  I texted those same few friends and told them my sad news.  One friend described it perfectly in one word: torture!  It felt like torture to go two whole weeks thinking there was a precious baby growing inside me and then get slapped in the face Saturday morning.  

I woke up feeling better on Sunday and today I am even better.  I have tried to focus on the fact that it just wasn't the right time.  We have too many things going on over the next few months and me being pregnant and possibly sick could complicate those things.  I know our time will come and I can only pray that it will be sooner rather than later.